More about casa nostra
Down to London today for a friend's birthday party - an ok time except we didn't know anybody else there.
On the way back, I called Vincent on the offchance and popped in to say hello. The last thing I expected was to have my knuckles rapped for my failures as an uncle. Here it is:
No 1. I called Cosmo a day late and didn't send him a birthday card.
JustNathan's defence. I can't excuse not calling on the day, it was an oversight. I did call the following day and apologised, and spent ages on the phone chatting with him. I love Cos and Fif to bits and I'm sure they'll forgive my mistakes and realise that I'm fallible. As for cards, I don't send them. They are not my way of expressing my care for people and I resent being told to send them. I occasionally send cards to people when I want to, or when I've missed somebody for a long time, but it's not my normal way of doing things. It's not something new, I stopped sending card when I was 16.
No. 2. Mum and Dad are evil as they don't communicate with Cos & Fif. Of course, there is a subtext here - it's more about Vincent's vendetta against Mum than anything to do with Cos & Fif. Vincent is so defensive about this that it's painful to watch - he just tells me that I should talk with them (C&F) and find out how they feel. I resent being used as a pawn - V should sort out his relentless nagging gripes himself. As for Cos & Fif, they ought to be making some more effort to see Mum & Dad now that they live round the corner from them. However difficult grandparents can be, we only have the benefit of thier love for a limited number of years, and Mum & Dad do love them. If only they could show this without being spikey. They can be difficult, but it's up to both grandparents and grandchildren to prevent these issues from becoming ingrained.
All in all, I was very unhappy and left quite miserable. Vincent is very dear to me as a friend and a brother, and this is the second time in the last month that he's trapped me into his problems with Mum.
My great fear is that the poison of my own grandmother's bile spreads wider in our small family. There are already too many of us who don't talk to one another. Life's too short, and blood does run thicker than water.
Alfred sat through the discussion and was too cautious to intervene. I don't blame him, although, selfishly, it would have been good if he had stood up for me. But I understand his reluctance in involving himself with family problems.
So, the resultant action was that I've asked Cos and Fif out to lunch when we're in London on Saturday and I'll try to understand their concerns and see if I can be any help. I'd better watch Godfather Part 2 first.
Posted by nathan at December 29, 2002 11:59 PM
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